Kenia in the Middle

My birthday has just recently passed, meaning I’m now a 21 year old woman (craziest statement to ever write down). This past year with all honesty has been my most complex, I’ve had some of the best and worst of times. I feel like this past year I have learned a lot about my emotions and how I react to things, becoming more self aware everyday. On the other end of things being as raw as I feel comfortable I also dealt with insecurity, health issues, family struggles, financial stress, and other everyday anxieties. From what I’ve noticed stuff like this isn’t talked about much in media, it’s hard to find “answers” for things that should feel normal to talk about because everyone goes through the same or similar things in life. It’s like a box we’re put in unknowingly, feeling like we are the only person in the world having a rough time. I know this isn’t true of course but wow I hate feeling like I have no where to go with all these thoughts and stressors. Just a thought.

To give a more personal background to those thoughts, being in your 20’s feels hard as hell already. I have so much I want to do and accomplish but then theres all these other elements you have to think about and have no idea where to start. “Do I have the money to do this? What about school? and a career? What about building strong connections? When am I gonna have time to date and start a family? What about spending time with my family? I only have so much time to spend with them but I also only have so much time of being young and independent.” Then you get stuck in a loop of saying, “you have time don’t stress” but then theres not enough time to stay in that mindset. It’s like I have too much time to worry but I’m running out of time to start. I’m the type of person to have a million ideas in a night then feel the need to complete them all within the same week. As I’m writing this I’m hearing my mom on my shoulder saying it’s not possible. Like obviously it’s not but no harm in trying right? Wrong. I catch myself consumed by this stress of needing to do everything and anything all at once. It stops me from being present from time to time. What a terrible feeling, wanting something so bad and then once you’re there you can only worry about other things. I don’t plan on taking any of my goals off of my list, but I know I need to find a better system. I want this next year to be a turn around. Problems are temporary, stress is just a feeling not everlasting. What’s funny is that I know someday I’ll look back at this and most likely laugh thinking how common all these feelings are for someone in my shoes. I have a thousand notes in my phone of things I want to do in my life. I try not to put a time limit on most of them but I have made a 5 year plan/10 year in my past. None of it went according to plan oops (typical). I’m going to include my life bucket list below just to put it out there. Let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions to add! Love you guys!

xx,

Kenia Noelle

Life Bucket List

• Skydiving (Moab??)
• Hot air ballon festival
• Have a family (adopt a child along with 2 bio kids)
• Buy a house
• Utilize the Europe train system for a summer with a backpack
• Swim with whale sharks
• Hike Mount Fuji
• Wall of China
• Be in a movie
• Rockefeller center tree
• Snowboard in Alaska, Switzerland, and Japan
• Study climate change in Antarctica
• Live on a boat for a summer in Greece
• Scuba diving
• The great migration
• Go to Machu Pichuu
• Sister trip to Monte Carlo & France (like the movie)
• Work on a farm and study cooking in a foreign country
• Publish a book
• Camel ride
• Rock climb in Yosemite
• Austria Alps
• Dolomites
• Host family summer camps for sisters kids & mine
• Start and run my own nonprofit
• Brazil (amazon rainforest)
• Learn about holistic Chinese medicine
• Wonders of the world
• Successful enough to retire my parents
• 30 day yoga retreat (no outside connection)
• Ironman
• Run the NYC marathon
• Sell at a farmers market with homemade goods
• Camping at every national park
• etc.

These are general ideas of what I have in my notes. My list is ever growing and changing. Hope you enjoyed 🙂